Rule # 700

"Marriage changes passion.  Now you're sleeping with a relative"

Rule # 101

"The best villains will have foreign accents and will walk slowly"

Rule # 22

"Always avoid the 'last' of everything...the last subway car..the last deviled egg..the last man/woman in the bar"

Rule # 279

"Never take sleeping pills and a laxative on the same night"

Rule # 532

"You never want to hear the words "play doh" and "microwave" in the same sentence"